Keys to Dunking Oreos

Los Feliz, CA:
The essential Guide to getting your cookies soggy.

I generally use the "Bubble Observation Method." It's kind of like counting the pops with microwave popping corn, when those bubble stop coming up from the submerged cookie you can pull it out. For safety I usually abort just before the stop to avoid the cookie crumbling into the milk

I used to use the buoyancy test which involves the continuously letting go and catching of the cookie until it starts to sink. It is, however, too easy to crush the cookie, sending it dissolving to the bottom and leaving you with just a pinch in your fingers.

Staff Writer, Dicky P. Cockfoster, swears by the counting method. This is of course a foolish request for disaster.

Ray Kamb, lead signer and axe-man for the Kassos, claims to have never dunked an Oreo. "It's wrong," Kamb says, "That is one thing in my life I made it a point to take a stand against."

Disclaimer: The proceeding methods are only valid for Oreos. For instance, it takes way less milk to sink a Nutter Butter than an Oreo. So for gad sakes be careful.

The Dead Roach Band Rides Again!

Santee, CA:
The Dead Roach Band's 'Fat Chick Smokin' is now available!

New Sugar-Water Ads Assault, Masses Rejoice

Santee, CA:
There is a lemon-lime soda called Sierra Mist that has a drawing of mountains on its label. Apparently the refreshing taste of citrus comes from orchards near the snowcapped peaks of the Sierra-Nevadas

This drink replaces cola giant Pepsi's syrupy Lemon-Lime Slice. I can't say that this changing of the guard will bring tears to my eyes because I just don't care

Do soft drink corporations really need web sites. Does anyone really wonder what's the latest from their marketing avalanche. You can't hide from the media blitz anyway why seek out more of it. Coca-Cola has the nauseating gall to have a picture on its site of a silver-haired woman kissing her granddaughterin her graduation cap. Which for some reason is stuck to the back of her head. Other than through sarcasm I can find no connection

Me? I'll be humming Nickel Nickel on the way to get a glass of water.

Santee, CA:
The Circus is in town; or at least at the local Denny's. One extremely afeminate guy in yellow Hostess Twinkees pajama pants sports a blue bandana on his head garnished with chrome Elvis sunglasses. Twinkee pants is very cuddly with a midget dame wearing in a ski cap and a tank top. These bits of clothing, one would assume, are at odds with each other, even mutually exclussive. The rest of the troop was silly in a far less destinct manner. Overall, however, they were all part of the 'everyone look at me' crowd.

Santee, CA:
New Pointless Activity
The Old Pointless Activity

Santee, CA:
A few cool Flash sites:Orisinal - A bunch of silly Flash Games. Most of them excruciatingly cute.

Tamale Loco - Another Flash Game. You collect chillies and tortillas.

Alien Hominid - Dan Paladin's awesome side scoller.

Santee, CA:
Life isn't like the movies but it ought to be. Many of my actions should be seen in slow motion punctuated with a swelling score. Just like the movies, clever tricks can hide the fact that nothing of substance is happening.

San Diego, CA:
It starts with a silly little tickle and ends up being the biggest mistake of your life. That little hair waving about in your schnoz has to go however. And you'll yank it out despite all that experience has taught time and again. Seconds later, writhing on the floor, lacramose shrapnel leaps from from your eyes, defying all your claims of manliness.

Santee, CA:
Her breasts seemed to bounce to a rhythm completely out of sync with her walk.-- about girl crossing the street.

Santee, CA:
I always load my clean laundry into suitcases. That way it feels like I'm traveling.

San Diego, CA:
Absinthe, The Green Fairy

Escondido, CA:
She had an incredible body but as I passed I saw a nose that looked like something you'd find sticking off the back on a '59 Cadillac.